Meghan's Fairy Tale or A Jump Back In The Heart Of 1950s

Disclaimer: I support the abolition of all monarchies and hope to live to the day all countries will become republics

First, there was Wallis Simpson, the infamous two-times divorcée American socialite who robbed the British Monarchy of Edward VIII. In 1953, Elizabeth Alexandra Mary became Elizabeth, Queen of England, succeeding her father, Edward’s brother. Four years later, one of Hitchcock’s famous blondes, Grace Kelly, gave up her Hollywood career to marry Monaco’s prince, becoming a real life princess.

Then came along Diana: aristocratic, young, peachy cheeks, pink pretty, virginal, silent, obedient, Diana, the eighteen-year-old child bride of Charles, Prince of Wales. Diana was never supposed to become a media sensation. She was a princess of Wales, the wife of the heir apparent of the British throne. All she had to do was deliver an heir and its spare, stand a step away from her husband, wave graciously to the crowds, nod or smile when proper, speak when spoken to, look the other side while her husband carried the worst secretly kept affair of modern European monarchies, and remain not only silent, but also appropriately invisible. The show wasn’t about her, it was about Charles! Charles was the leading character, the hero, the main attraction. She was just a much needed portrait in the background.

But Diana needed attention. Getting none from the man who matter the most, she opted for the next best thing, the attention of all. Against all expectations, Charles’ wife became Diana, and Charles, the Prince of Wales, became Diana’s husband.

Diana rose to fame overnight. As abhorrent as it sounds, she became famous because princesses are famous. Other princesses, namely Grace Kelly’s daughters Stephanie and Caroline, were famous for being attractive and living their private life in public. Stephanie was Paris Match’s gift that kept on giving. But Diana was different. She wasn’t just a princess, one day she was going to become Queen consort of England.

Diana is an iconic figure of the last century. The world was obsessed with her. Somehow it’s still is. Catherine Middleton, Waity Katie, is constantly compared to Diana, praised for channeling Diana’s style and Diana’s poise. Meghan Markle, a woman previously known for a nice-ass-and-some-sass role in a great legal series is currently championed for marrying Diana’s youngest son, William’s (pre Prince George) spare.

Hold on a moment!

Yes, Diana married a prince. In my world, you can’t settle for lesser than that. But Diana didn’t obsess anyone when she was wearing long sleeves, 80’s prom princess’s dresses, ruffled tops and frumpy skirts. Politically correct Diana wasn’t interesting. Monarchy rules appropriate Diana wasn’t an icon.

At a certain point in her sad married life, Diana, Princess of Wales, realized she was being played for a fool, publicly used and privately psychologically abused, relegated to the role of the children’s bearer and viewed as an uninteresting wolf crying big baby. So she tossed the protocol booklet and became a sensational young woman who meticulously worked to shame the monarchy.

See, Diana was not just some stylish woman. Regardless of what was the real rationale behind her behavior, she exposed the monarchy for what it truly was and challenged their conservatism one dress at the time. She went from being famous for being the not-so-secretly laughed at wife of a famous man to a literally hands-on philanthropist. She used the apparently one thing she knew, the power of the dress, to break out of her depressing existence. She wore shorter skirts, sleeveless tops, and tight dresses. Twenty years ago, a woman who got married at the age of 18, who wasn’t deemed particularly smart, who was shy and sometimes gawky, whose husband didn’t care about, who didn’t go to college, who had no career, decided she didn’t want to be a princess anymore, didn’t want to be the future queen of England anymore! The woman who knew nothing but being a princess snatched her own tiara and gave up the most coveted position in patriarchal culture.

Diana was not a saint. She was a cornered woman who played the hand she was dealt the best she could.

Then, we had Kate Middleton, the textbook definition of royal girlfriend. Kate went to college, but she never worked – unless whatever half job she held for a couple of months at her parent’s online store counts – never had a life of her own. During her 9 years royal girlfriend tenure, Kate waited for William. She wouldn’t make plans and made it clear she was at William’s disposal anytime he needed her. Her message for young girl who still believe in fairytales is wait for prince charming. Back in that time, Harry was in love with Chelsy Davey, an independent woman demonized by the British media because she wouldn’t give everything up to be a princess. They destroyed her, calling her trashy, clingy, disgusting, impossible...  Chelsey is a lawyer who also has a degree in economics and who worked at a major law firm before launching her own jewelry line. She even owns her own mine.

Kate is one of the most inconsequential persons the world has ever seen. She’s everything the Queen wanted Diana to be and, by definition, inconsequential. And as if Waty Katie’s story wasn’t bad enough, now we’re dealing with a new princess-to-be: Meghan Markle! Meghan, an American actress who wants to be seen as a feminist and a philanthropist, is set to marry Harry in May.

Meghan Markle is no feminist. She is a political pawn: the monarchy is not some regressive conservative institution! Look everybody, Harry is marrying a divorced metis American actress who the whole world had seen faking an orgasm with Patrick J. Adams! So far away are the days when Wallis wasn’t good enough! Brexit doesn’t define us! We’re evolving. Let’s not have a referendum on ending the monarchy by the Queen’s death. It gets even better. Feminist Meghan Markle ended her career as an actress, just like Grace Kelly did back in 1956, in order to marry a prince. She shut down her Instagram account. She learned how to curtsy. There is an overflow of articles about the right way to address the Queen and why Meghan can’t wear a tiara while Kate has to. A tiara! Feminist Meghan Markle started the conversation about who can and who can’t wear a tiara. It gets even better. Some media outlets are arguing that Meghan is actually modernizing the monarchy, they keep going on about rules she’s broken and anecdotes about how special she is. That is the British Monarchy, she’s not modernizing anything, and she’s doing exactly as she’s told, reflecting well on the establishment. An establishment who doesn’t put her on the first plane back to finding a new agent is a modern, open minded, changing, developing establishment.

Girls around the world should be told the truth. Nothing good comes from dreaming of being a princess, or from actually being a princess. Becoming a princess is signing away all your rights for the opportunity to wear nice gowns and wave to the crowds! If this is what you want, don’t call yourself a feminist. Don’t insult women all over the world who won’t give up who they are in order fit in. And please, don’t tell me she’s doing it in the name of love. It’s not enough to love your significant other, and if Harry is truly in love with her, he wouldn’t stand idly by as she turns into exactly what fucked his mother’s life up.